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Allen’s Corner: A Guy’s Perspective on MFM Threesomes

ASN Lifestyle Magazine

He went into the lifestyle feeling like the wingman to his wife looking for another man. Here’s how that’s changed with experience.

When I was asked if I would like to be part of ASN Lifestyle Magazine by doing an article from a guy’s perspective in the lifestyle, I was surprised and asked my wife Brandy what she thought. Well, as you can guess by reading this, she said yes. I was shocked because I am a married guy in the lifestyle and are not always in the front ground of it. We are sometimes like the wingman for the wife, girlfriend, or lady friend. To tell the truth, I can only really relate to the married/boyfriend part of it, so single fellas, I’m sorry if I do not cover that part perfectly.

When Brandy and I first started dating 21 years ago, I was always wanting to have an FMF with her, but the cards would not lay out right for that. Part of the reason was we were young and not really sure if we were ready. About ten years later, we had our first FMF (that Brandy set up). It was GREAT, and we had so much fun, but after that encounter, she felt wrong, and I felt bad about giving her the idea. Now, mind you, this is not something that happens to every couple. There are some that after the first time, it just leads to other wonderful things.

Our First MFM Threesome

Fast forward a few years, and we start talking about the lifestyle and our fantasies again. Like most guys, I want more FMF, but she admits she wants an MFM (we had not gone to full swap with other couples). I was not sure if I was ready for an MFM yet. I know, ladies, I want my fantasy so she should have hers but, like anything, you have to work into your new limits. There was a guy that Brandy had been flirting with for some time that she really liked. With all the talk of her wanting an MFM and me knowing she liked him, I told her that if the chance should come — even if it’s one-on-one — she should take it. Well, one day I was at work and Brandy called me telling me that the guy she wanted came over and she decided to fuck him.

I was not upset and was actually turned on about it, so I told her to set up an MFM with him. After she told me it was all set up, I was thinking, is this really going to happen? Am I going to be OK with being near another man's dick? And the answer was that I will never know till I try. We did set rules and, if at any time she is not OK with it all, or I am not OK with it, we will stop. We all started making jokes about sex and other things ‘til it got heated up and made our way to the bedroom. Brandy started kissing him as I was watching, and I was enjoying it tremendously!

As you can guess, we all got heavily into it. The whole time, I will admit, I wondered, was this how she wanted it to happen? Will things be different for better or worse? Did I take things to a limit, or was I pushing her? Well, it was very much for the better. It opened a box that wanted to be opened, but she didn’t know how to open it. From there, I started looking into doing more in the lifestyle. See, the thing is, most guys are all for an FMF or full swap. The part that I was worried about was if she was truly ready to be in the lifestyle, so with that, more and more communication needed to happen and letting each other know our deep fantasies.

Our Fantasies

We started laying all the cards out. I had more thoughts and ideas than she did, and I was thinking, “Am I going too fast or taking it too far?” I’d bet most men are more open to the idea of the lifestyle than women. When you are in a relationship and talking about the lifestyle with your other half, you’re always wondering what that person thinks. Am I not good enough for them? Is that why they are wanting to do this? For us, that is not true; it’s the enhancements, not a replacement. I enjoy watching her with another man (or woman, of course), and it is a big turn-on for me. I was seeing the things I didn’t always see when it’s just us. I say this as, when you are intimate and making love, there is the animal side of things you didn’t see before because you are so into that person.

When watching my wife with another man, I get to see the amazing and sexy animalistic things she does. We are full-swap with the couple in the room/same room swingers. There are times that she is into the guy and woman of a couple, but I’m not into the woman. Then there have been times I’m way into the woman of the other couple, but she is not into the guy or even the woman, and that’s the time that it’s hard (no pun intended) because I’m ready to go and feeling it, but my wife just does not want to. What do I do about that? Well, I can’t have sex with the other lady because my wife does not want the other guy.

Our thing is — and I’m not saying every couple is like this nor needs to be; what works for you is for you — we don’t take one for the team; we both need to be into it. Since we are a couple that’s been together about half of our lifetime, there are still moments when we are learning something new and exciting about each other every day. Brandy gets turned on by tall men (the complete opposite of me, since I’m only 5’6”). I like a dark, tanned-skinned lady (the opposite of Brandy).