Should You Use Condoms for Blowjobs?
The email read, “So, what are your thoughts on couples, or people in general for that matter, that abide by safe sex via proper use of condoms for PIV intercourse but then go ahead with bareback oral (fellatio or cunnilingus) and may even swallow with fellatio? This seems a very common paradigm yet seems so horribly hypocritical. Are people really just not thinking this through fully?” I leaped to answer it.
The Other Penetrative Sex
Okay, so first, confession time. Up until about two years ago, I was one of these swingers. 100% condom usage for penetrative sex (penis-in-vagina, penis-in-anus), but not for blowjobs (the other penetrative sex). Is this a big confession? Not really. Am I alone in this practice? I’d say the vast majority of the world (behold, as Coop makes sweeping generalizations with his bare hands!) practices what they term “safe sex” this way.
Are they wrong? Hypocrites? Are they calling down the wrath of some Elder God to punish them for their misdeeds?
No.
‘Cuz Cthulhu cares not for cunnilingus.
What Changed My Mind?
Anyway. So what happened? Why’d I change? Well, used to be I’d wait around the week after playtime for the telltale signs of one or more STIs to start showing up. Often feeling those telltale signs because I’m a major hypochondriac and could feel absolutely anything WebMD said I might feel. This was with partners who were careful and tested, and I had no reason to believe that they might have anything. But I was certain I had caught something.
Eventually, this feeling was so prevalent, I started to beg off of playdates.
Is it Different?
I was asked very recently, “Doesn’t oral sex suck with condoms and dental dams?”
To which I confidently replied, “A little.”
“What? Coop! You’re blowing the sex-positive cover here!” you say, assuring me that I should tow the company line that says it’s not different at all.
But it is different. Without question. Does a blowjob while wearing a condom suck a little bit? Did ya like that turn of phrase?
To wit, there’s a certain amount of awesome inherent in a blowjob. Does a condom reduce it? Yeah, a little. Doesn’t wearing a condom reduce the awesome during penetrative (see above) sex? Yeah, a little. Does a dental dam detract from the glory that is pussy licking? Yeah, for both parties, a little.
Does it keep you from getting diseases that may literally kill you? Yeah, a lot.
Because “Antibiotic Resistant Gonorrhea of the Throat” Is a Real Thing
And here’s my obligatory disclaimer that condoms and dental dams only prevent skin-to-skin infections like HPV and HSV for the areas that are covered by them. But HSV and the vast majority of HPV won’t even try to kill you. The rest of HPV is a sneaky little bastard. Get PAP smears regularly. The more you know!
Then I answered the above question (about oral sex sucking with condoms and dental dams) by laying down one of the massive Glyde dental dams (my personal favorite) atop her pussy and going to town. Having had my cock sucked while clad in a condom, I fully admit that it does cut down on the sensation slightly, but no more than it cuts down on the sensation during penetration.
And I know I don’t have to say the words “Antibiotic Resistant Gonorrhea of the Throat” to remind you that a slight reduction in sensation can be a huge boost in survivability.
But maybe I’m just a wacko.
And my friend who experienced my tongue behind a barrier? She said, “It’s distracting at first, and a little bizarre, but with the right combination of skill and enthusiasm you forget it’s there.”
Yes she did.
This article is an excerpt from my book, My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory.
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