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Couple's Meditation
Commit to getting up 10-15 minutes earlier each morning to spend that time meditating. Decide to be absolutely committed to doing this for at least 60 days. You likely won’t notice the benefits -- or “miss” it -- until then. If an emergency, kids, etc. cause you to miss a day that’s OK -- just keep the routine going as best you can.
Sensory Meditation
There are many ways this can be done, but I personally practice something I call “Sensory Meditation” which works great if you tend to “think too much.”
First, spend a moment (not more than a minute or two) thinking about what you have to do that day, and imagine it all working perfectly. Then commit to spending the next 10-13 minutes just focusing on your breathing. That time should ideally be spent with absolutely no outcome other than “feeling” yourself breathing in and out.
Better Together
For couples, it’s great to do this laying in a “spooning” position while still in bed. First, get up and go to the bathroom, and drink some water. Then return to bed or the couch or wherever you are most comfortable in that position together, and try it.
One great practice is to take turns each day where one partner follows the others breathing rate. Most people will soon get a feeling as if they’re the “same breath,” which can greatly increase connection and intimacy. This is also something that if done for approximately 60 days, you will miss if one partner has to go out of town, etc.
Why Working on Relationships is a Good Idea
First, we all change, grow and hopefully adapt as time goes by. Having children, changes in career, menopause, caring for elderly parents, and health problems all present challenges that can change the dynamics of relationships. Each challenge requires both partners to adapt and change.
If a relationship is going smoothly for years then suddenly something major happens, having deeper intimacy (like what you can gain from the Intimacy massage technique) can help couples succeed through the rough patches. This is both because they have something they both enjoy and relate to that they can come back to each day, and because they have connected deeper as life partners.
Also, most couples don’t realize their relationship can grow, get more exciting, intimate, erotic, and they can even become more spiritually connected over time. Couples settle into what seems to work for them and stay that way.
Touch is important
Finally, most people don’t realize how much more interesting things are if they enhance their sense of touch (particularly men). I created “Intimacy Massage” as an enhancement of a technique called “Sensate Focusing,” which was created by sexology pioneers: Masters and Johnson. I created this as a specific method couples could learn to use easily in order to help women who had difficulty easily achieving orgasm. What was interesting is that most men aren’t used to “feeling” touch as well. This experience both expands their experience of intimacy and helps them better learn how to take care of their partner’s needs.
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