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Newbie Lifestyle Club Guide

If you're curious about clubbing in the world of non-monogamy, consider this series of tips and tricks your new best friend.

Openlove 101 SDC Newbie Lifestyle Guide Manual Are you in an open relationship?

Consider yourself poly?

New to the swinger lifestyle scene?

First time to a swingers lifestyle club?

Well, then this guide is for you!

Who We Are

We are John & Jackie Melfi, and we are the owners of colette clubs and Openlove101.com. We have over 20 years of combined experience in open relationships, have coached thousands of couples, and continue to operate our lifestyle clubs every week.

Based on what we’ve seen (and experienced), we’ve put together this guide so you can know what to expect when starting out in the lifestyle and going to a club for the first time, which can be a little unnerving.

I (Jackie) remember my first time going to a “sex” club. Just trying to pick out my outfit for the night triggered so much fear and doubt. Could I really pull off wearing something like this? What did this dress say about me? Was I trying too hard? Who am I kidding in these platform heels and this short dress? You’re far too refined and respectable to allow yourself such silly frivolity. Thanks, ego! I really appreciate those self-defeating comments. Now I feel dumb. Now I don’t want to go. Now I’m scared of what people will think of me.

Cue the mini breakdown.

Thank goodness I had John, such a loving, understanding, and patient partner. John stopped what he was doing and reassured me that everything was going to be okay, I didn’t look ridiculous… I looked beautiful, and nothing was going to happen that I couldn’t handle.

Looking back on that experience, I wish I’d had some formal guide or checklist I could have followed to help prepare me for the evening. And thus, what you’re reading now is what I wish I had back then! So, let’s get started!

In This Guide

There are four parts to our Newbie Lifestyle Club Guide here on SDC. You can find all the links below:

1. What a Lifestyle Club Is — & Isn't

2. The Pre-Club Talk & Prep

3. Lifestyle Club Etiquette

4. You're at the Club. Now What?

By taking these steps in this guide, you can have an incredible first time (or anytime) experience at a lifestyle club that will keep you cumming back for more! (I couldn’t resist!)

Happy swinging!

Love,

Openlove 101 SDC Newbie Lifestyle Club Guide

See our links in the bio below for more about us and Openlove 101.

Openlove 101

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45 Comments

COMMENT

MEEOOW

Feb 07, 2024

What are the ladies who can’t wear heels wearing for shoes?

PRINCEALGENS

Sep 24, 2023

John & Jackie, this guide is an absolute gem for newcomers venturing into the lifestyle! The pre-club jitters are real, and having a roadmap like this can be a game-changer. I remember my first time stepping into a lifestyle club; it was a cocktail of anticipation and curiosity, stirred with a bit of nervous energy. Knowing what to expect and how to navigate the social dynamics would've been an enormous asset. Your guide isn't just about the "do's and don'ts"; it's also about self-assurance and channelling one's inner sexiness, which is the real key to unforgettable encounters. So, to my fellow adventurers out there, how many of you wished you had a guide like this during your first 'swinging' experience? And how did you overcome your initial fears?

SOFLA8763

Dec 25, 2019

Interesting and informative. Thanks,

CCCOUPLE4FUN

Dec 18, 2019

Great read! Can't wait to see where this goes!

CCCOUPLE4FUN

Dec 18, 2019

Thanks for this helpful article it really helps with the transition into this new lifestyle and figuring out the best way to approach it! Can't wait to read more!

PLUSSIZEBROWNIN19

Dec 12, 2019

This article was pretty helpful for a newbie like myself. It helped me grasp a better understanding of the whole lifestyle and the expectations. Thanks for this. Keep them coming.

LOVETOLIFT

Dec 04, 2019

This article is excellently written. Definitely a must read for newbies and so many tips for those who are headed out to the clubs for the first time. Thanks for all the great advice! Have fun!!

MUSCLEMATT469

Dec 02, 2019

wish they had a location in Orlando would def join

CHARLEMAGNE593

Nov 27, 2019

Appreciate you taking the time to write it. Really enjoyed the part about setting boundaries as a couple...lots of things get assumed to the detriment of the person/relationship when it does become an "oops" moment.

BEACHCPLE45

Nov 25, 2019

Great information to share!

SINGLEHOT69

Nov 23, 2019

Excellent article

DOUBLEDARE1321

Nov 22, 2019

Excellent...answered many things for us

SHORTTIME2PLAY

Nov 20, 2019

Great read for anyone starting out or just timid about it, thanks

CHRISNKAT

Nov 19, 2019

Great information in this article!

METEORJ

Nov 19, 2019

Excellent article

SMS16

Nov 19, 2019

Great article. Thank you

HERE4URPLEASURE20

Nov 19, 2019

I am in an open relationship and my wife no longer wants to swing per se with guys. She is very Bi and only wants to be with women. She is okay if I join others is a cuckquean. But how do I tell a regular girl I am in an open relationship and interested. Should I wear my wedding ring?

JENSEXY240

Nov 18, 2019

So i like a girl, do i say hi and compliment her? Are most bi?

JLOPEZZIE

Nov 18, 2019

Great article! I have been to Collette in New Orleans and it was my favorite swingers club thus far.

LOVETOPLAY6121

Nov 18, 2019

Thank you thank you thank you for this article!! We are brand new and I am anxious about what to expect or what people think of me. Now with this guide I can feel more confident in our new adventure!

TANDB27

Nov 18, 2019

Great read very informative thanks

HOTCHICK1967

Nov 18, 2019

Great article, thanks for sharing.

JOEMAN27

Nov 18, 2019

The article was very informative and an easy read

CURIOUSMIND3018

Nov 17, 2019

Thank you for this insight. I’ve been very curious about the clubs and these materials gave great insight on what to expect.

MOCKPARKER

Nov 17, 2019

Awesome article! That was spot on

FUNCOUPLE33578

Nov 17, 2019

Great article! Very well written.

READYFORFUN69477

Nov 17, 2019

Being new to the lifestyle we found this community very essential to us exploring our needs

WEFAST

Nov 17, 2019

Love reading this kind of stuff thanks for all the good information

DARULERY

Nov 17, 2019

When attending the club as a single, I just hang at the bar and many of the interested parties come to me. Just be cool, approachable, and join the bar conversations.

TALLATXFUN

Nov 16, 2019

Fantastic articles. A great read.

HARDCPU

Nov 16, 2019

Nice articule I would like see more like thatone

SEXYINDYCOUPLE78

Nov 16, 2019

Good article, we have been skeptical about going to a swingers club or private party for a while now and if others have read the etiquette portion i believe we will be a lot more comfortable then we originally thought. Happy Hunting everyone.

PLEASUREZONE

Nov 16, 2019

Great information. There are so many facets to the lifestyle, it’s Greta to have this kind of resource!

BROWNSUGAR1

Nov 16, 2019

Great tips! This guide is definitely an excellent reference for newbies.

JUSTUS8189

Nov 16, 2019

As Swingers in an open marriage, we find the club scene to be a place of freedom. I mean where else can you go and tell someone you want to hook up with their husband/wife and not get into a fight? Also a great place to just meet new friends who won't judge you. Some places are a bit too pricey but most are reasonable.

ANTICIPATEME

Nov 16, 2019

Good to know, I think we all experienced some anxiety initially coming into the lifestyle that’s why it’s good to have a support group or others to help you get accustomed to the lifestyle.

ML38

Nov 16, 2019

Really good articules. It help me to understand correctly the LS.

LETSHAVEFUN2020

Nov 16, 2019

I think this is very helpful, knowing what to expect and how to react. As a newbie we've been open to learning from more experience people on how to handle one self in the swinger clubs or private parties. This article was very helpful

CLINTASHLEY

Nov 16, 2019

I learned a little more from the article thanks

SEXYTHERAPIST31

Nov 16, 2019

As a single male who still hasn't gone in a club yet, this was very helpful and I may finally go and try out a club

JAY2900

Nov 15, 2019

As someone just starting out in the lifestyle. I find this article very insightful especially the part where putting too much pressure to fulfill goals leading to disappointment.

CRAVINGACONNECTI

Nov 15, 2019

Helpful. I hope my future birdy is up for some swinging.. viewing some clubs no expectations.. who knows

LASALCHICHA29

Nov 15, 2019

Great articles. I think this it is a good read for folks who are either a couple or single in the lifestyle. Everyone has some kind of worry when they go to their first "swinger or club" party. It is a shame that we have to feel that way in the beginning and at other parties because some folks want to weed out the "good" people vs the "bad" people.

TRUCHA217

Nov 15, 2019

Ive been married for 23 years. I love my wife dearly but I feel like we need a spark. On my 40th birthday, my wife asked me what/where I wanted to go/do. I mentioned going to a local swingers club. She immediately and without hesitation said no. I thought how unfair is this..I feel like if my wife asked me to do something she was interested in I would at7 least think about it. How is this gonna work. Im still, if not more curious about the lifestyle.

LUCKYHAPPYCOUPLE

Nov 15, 2019

Enjoyed the article

Swingers Lifestyle Community for Open-Minded Couples & Singles

Newbie Lifestyle Club Guide

Who We Are

In This Guide