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Michael Bell's Lifestyle Language for ASN

This is for you to make sure you are not just walking the walk — you’re talking the talk.

There are many terms, words, and acronyms you will come across as you dip your toes into the Swinging pool or jump in headfirst. We have met many experienced Swingers still unsure about what means what and when to use an acronym.

This is for you to make sure you are not just walking the walk — you’re talking the talk. What you see here is not an all-encompassing list; it’s a “starter kit” and meant to provide a foundation. Dive deeper with this comprehensive swinger glossary here on SDC!

Lifestyle Lexicon

AC/DC: Bisexual
Anal: Anal Intercourse
B&D: Bondage and Discipline
BBC: Big Black Cock
BBW: Big Beautiful Woman
Bi: Bisexual
Blow Job (BJ): Oral sex on a male
Bondage: Involving ropes or other materials to tie someone up. This is seen often in a Dominant/submissive relationship or with fantasy fulfillment
Boundaries: Rules you and your partner have set up beforehand to make sure the Swinging experience is always mutually enjoyable
Can Travel: Someone who can travel
Cheating: Bet you can guess what this means…just know it’s always unacceptable
Clean: Disease and drug-free; also known as DDF
Couple: Male and female couple
Cunnilingus: Oral sex on a female
Dildo: Penis shaped toy made from silicone, rubber, glass, or other materials. Also considered a sex toy
Discipline: Fetish where one partner dominates the other
Discretion: People who, for many reasons, don’t share their Lifestyle involvement with others; they remain private about their play
Dominant: Person in control of a submissive, also seen as Dom on some profiles
Endowed: Generous proportion, usually referring to a penis. At times can refer to breasts
Exhibitionist: Those who like to be watched, people who receive pleasure out of having sex in front of others
Fetish: A form of sexual desire in which gratification depends on an object or item of clothing or part of the body; excessive devotion to some activity
Gang Bangs: Multiple men having sex, typically, with one woman
Gay: Homosexual, usually referring to men sexually attracted to men
Group Sex: Sex between four or more people
Greek: Into anal activity
Hall Pass: When one or both members of the couple allow the other to play without them present; i.e., if one goes on vacation or for a night out with friends, they may receive a hall pass
Hand Job: Masturbation of a male
Hard Swap: Where sexual activity is presumed however rules and boundaries are still respected
Hedonist: A person whose purpose is to experience pleasure
Heterosexual: When you are attracted to members of the opposite sex
Homosexual: When you are attracted to members of the same sex
Horny: Sexual desire
Host: The person whose home is being used to have a party or the person organizing the event
Hung: Generally used to describe a man with a large penis
Lesbian: Refers to women sexually attracted to women
Lifestyle: A newer term used to describe Swingers. This term does not have the same “negative” perception Swingers does in main society
LivingSexy™: An attitude not an action. A term you can use when you do not desire one event or a series of events to label who you are
Masochist/Masochism: Someone who obtains sexual pleasure from receiving punishment (physical or psychological), seen as S&M in some profiles
Ménage a Trios: Three people having sex…it’s a French term, also called a threesome
Meet and Greet: In the Lifestyle, this is a place for like-minded couples (at times singles too) to meet
Newbies: People/Couples who are new to the Swinger Lifestyle
NSA: No strings attached
Off-Premise: Event is being held at a location where you cannot have any sexual activity
On-Premise: Event is being held at a location where you can have sexual activity
Orgy: Group sex
Passive: Tends to refer to someone who is submissive, not Dominant
Restraint: Any type of mild bondage
Roman: Into orgies and group sex
Rubber: Condoms…great idea to prevent Sexually Transmitted Diseases as well as unwanted pregnancies
Sadist/Sadism: Someone who obtains sexual pleasure from inflicting pain (physical or psychological) on others, seen as S&M in some profiles
Safe Sex: Those who insist on using protection during sexual intercourse/penetration
Safe Word: A word(s) couples use to excuse themselves from uncomfortable situations or to let their partner know they need to talk privately
Same Room: When a couple plays; however, only in the same room as each other
Silver Swinger: Refers to a specific group of Swingers typically over the age of 55. Silver comes from the color of hair most have as they get older, grey/silver
Soft Swap: Engaging in sexual activity that does not include penetration from the penis into the vagina, including a third person, making you no longer physically monogamous
STD: Sexually Transmitted Disease(s)
STI: Sexually Transmitted Infection(s)
Straight: Heterosexual
Swapping: Couples who exchange their partners for some type of sexual activity
Swinger(s): An individual or couple who believes in an open relationship (mentally and/or physically)
Submissive: Tends to refer to someone who is passive
Threesome: Also known as a Ménage a Trios, three people having sexual activity together
Toys: Sexual aids such as but not limited to; floggers, vibrators, dildos, handcuffs, whips, and many more.
Unicock: A single man in the Lifestyle (also known as a Bull). There are many more single men than single women in the Lifestyle. The term was created and became popular thanks to Holli Pockets
Unicorn: A single woman in the Lifestyle. Named this because they used to be rare. They’re not as rare these days; however, they’re always great to find and play with
Vanilla: A generic term for individuals and/or couples who are not Swingers living in the Lifestyle
Voluptuous: A curvy, well-proportioned woman
Voyeur: Those who enjoy watching others, deriving sexual pleasure watching others
VWE: Very Well Endowed
Will Travel: People who can travel to an event