Which Type of Open Relationship is Right for You?
You've had the conversation, you and your partner have decided that an open relationship is what you both desire. Coming to that conclusion leads you to the next potentially more important question: What type of open relationship works for you as a couple?
First, Define What Open Means to Your Relationship
There are a number of definitions in the world of open relationships. Will you be swinging as a couple and entertaining only other like-minded couples? Are you more interested in a polyamorous relationship, taking on multiple romantic partners? Are you open to the idea of your partner playing with a single man or woman? Addressing all of these questions with your partner is paramount to the success of your open relationship.
Some Questions to Ask Your Partner
Sometimes conversations around sex and intimacy can be incredibly uncomfortable (one of a few reasons some people choose not to have them). We recommend the following questions to ask your partner first, and consider yourself, as you prepare to enter into a non-monogamous arrangement:
- What is our why? What are some of the reasons we each feel we need or want non-monogamy?
- Where is our current comfort level of play? What are some things we think we would enjoy watching each other do or hearing about each other doing?
- Are we prepared to be judged for our lifestyle choice? How could it potentially impact our work lives, personal lives, etc.?
- Is our current relationship strong enough to withstand the various components of an open relationship? Do we feel secure with each other?
- What are some of the potential pitfalls we could run into? What are our plans for combating them?
- Where do we begin? How do we find playmates, other poly people or whatever else we decide to seek out?