Bisexuality: Why is There a Double Standard?
Why are bisexual men stigmatized while bisexual women are fetishized in society and popular culture?
Welcome to my playground of podcasts and more, pervs!
Wow — this is my 10th podcast episode! I can't believe it. It somehow feels like I just started podcasting!
Stigmas of Bisexuality
We all know that bisexual women are perceived as unicorns -- a lot of it due to the fact that one of the most common sexual fantasies that men and women both have: a threesome with another woman.
Yes, it's incredibly hot to see two women touch and play with each other. Call me a perv, but I also find it super sexy to watch two or more men playing together. For me, it's all about the sexual chemistry between the partners. But I digress...
Today's guests on Seek, Discover, Create are Angelique Luna, Certified Kink Aware Professional relationship and sex coach, educator, entertainer and advocate for sexual abuse survivors, and John C Luna, entrepreneur, author, professional educator and sex, kink and relationship coach, who also both host the podcast Sex Positive Me.
We'll be exploring why there’s such a double standard when it comes to male bisexuality, and debunking common myths about bisexuality.
Angelique and John are going to unveil the truth behind why bisexual men are often considered a myth and minimized by other subgroups, especially within the swinger lifestyle and other non-monogamous lifestyles.
We’re going to talk about the different challenges of being bisexual that men may experience, and offer practical advice for bisexual men who want to come out of the closet and tell their partners about their bisexuality.
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SANYA
Jul 03, 2024
As the hubby in this relationship, I also believe there is a reason for what is being called a double standard. Safety. Gay men have the highest percentage of HIV. Bi men are likely to have sex with gay men. Basically, gay men live in a very high-risk pool and bi men will swim in that pool and then come back to our much safer pool, not knowing what they might bring with them. It's a very rational, common-sense stance. We already take some risks by having sexual encounters with those other than our spouse. Limiting those risks should be applauded not demonized or attacked.
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LIVING4FUNLIFE
Jul 02, 2024
I completely understand this as I consider myself bi-flexible. I don’t go out in hopes of seducing a man, but if things go that way and everyone is comfortable and turned on, I’m good with it.
I see so so many profiles showing the woman as bi, but wonder if that’s 100% true, or if this is simply what the male half wants?
For me, I’m turned on by what my beautiful partner likes. She is most turned on when everything is unscripted and simply fluid. I will say that our sex life is amazing when there isn’t boundaries or expectations.
Unfortunately, there is a double standard when it comes to bisexuality, but we understand this and don’t try to rock the boat.
Thank you for touching on this extremely sensitive topic.
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LEXISYLVER
Oct 13, 2023
@UBECLEAN4ME I just saw your comment, and thank you for sharing that. YES! There are lots of women who enjoy men who want to enjoy other men! You mentioned about limiting your M2M play in front of others, but why was that the case? If you're experiencing shame around your sexuality and desires, check out the info on my author page here on SDC or DM me inside the site and we can chat about how to help you overcome your self-limiting mindset so that you can feel free to embrace and explore your full, authentic sexual self!
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LEXISYLVER
Oct 13, 2023
@AFOREIGNAFFAIR Thank you for your comment. I think this is a bit of a narrow view and doesn't give men -- or women -- credit. Regardless of gender or sexual identity, CONSENT is what's key here. As long as you clearly delineate your boundaries, limits, and what you do / don't want to do when it comes to sex / relationships, and you're ensuring enthusiastic consent among all participants before and throughout playtime, everyone should be able to experience pleasure and are WAY less likely to end up in any scenarios that may be uncomfortable for anyone or everyone involved.
We are all human and capable of getting worked up when in heat, just as we are capable of being in control of ourselves, not judging others for their sexuality or preferences, and taking responsibility for our own behavior. We ALL have the power to control ourselves. There is absolutely NO excuse for trying to touch someone without their consent, or trespassing a person's boundaries in any context.
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AFOREIGNAFFAIR
Sep 21, 2023
I believe a reason for the double standard.. IMO.. is that men are typically looked at as having little to no self-control, when it comes to sex. Any person who has male friends knows that a guy will stick his wee wee in just about anything that moves when he’s all worked up and that when horny, the male brain doesn’t function properly… think American Pie. Take that “fact” add some alcohol at a party and you have a potential mess. If a couple is going to meet with another couple and the other one has a bimale, there’s the stigma that in the heat of the moment, the bimale is gonna have moment of lost clarity and go with his horny brain and create a situation. I know a lot of guys of course would say “not me”.. but take a look at Grindr and other male hookup apps and just read…women on the other hand are usually, not always, picky…
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UBECLEAN4ME
Nov 15, 2019
There are so many challenges of a bisexual man. Lets start with trying to find a woman that finds it a turn on or erotic to be engaged in a sexual relationship with a bi-man and another bi-man. I have had time with a couple and as a couple bringing a man into our home. Even with the couple I visited and knowing that they enjoyed the company of a bi male I was so nervous and limited my m2m play knowing she was watching, actually she was very verbal telling me to well do things......Thank god I was harder than Chinese arithmetic so I guess I was enjoying it but still self conscious the entire time.Do other bi men have anxiety with females watching them with men? I have problems with a woman watching me touch a man I feel like her view of me is somehow different, diminished masculinity maybe. But if I were able to find a female that is actually looking for a man that is bisexual because she enjoys it maybe watches MMF porn or MM porn.. Maybe she masturbates picturing her man with a man. If I knew that it would make me feel at ease with her watching me and I could relax. (I hope no English majors are reading this mess).I often masturbate picturing my wife at the time being with other men and loved hearing her say fuck me fuck me. I need a minute.............................. .....................;)
I actually prefer watching a woman I have feelings for, having sex with others more than I do watching straight or bi porn. Watching her being pleasured is just amazing to me. OK I get it, I am having a hard time trying to explain myself,and I am all over the place here I apologize to anyone reading this. I have had m2m experience, mild if you will and no exchange of ...well, happy endings. How do I talk about this... ? I want to experience that but alone the first time. I had someone here ask me what wont I do. I am not sure really I have a lot of fantasy I guess I need to see what happens and I will find that boundary.. I am attracted to masculine men and find myself wanting to pleasure a man alone first to see how I will respond never mind being worried about what she would think if a just got a guy off. I mean what if my kids, adult kids find out what if she gets upset .... OH shit a woman scorned....what if my friends find out my co-workers they will never look at me the same, what if......... yada yada yadya. The fact is (for me) this has to be a private or secret if you will that stays with us and of course those we trust enough to explore and socialize with.I know that most people that live an open or swinging lifestyle are just as concerned as I am. Do most people feel like me and could really care less what others do behind closed doors but verbalize publicly otherwise to be socially accepted? Hmmm....I guess I am looking for a place that I can find or look for a woman that is looking for a bisexual man, do they exists? I feel like finding big-foot will be easier.
Wow I just read this myself what a hot mess...... Sorry but I'm gonna hit send and let it roll.
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