“This is my first time on a nude beach, so give me some time.” 

— Greg on his first day at Hedonism II

“Yes, let’s all walk down to Sandals wearing only shaving cream bathing suits.” 

— Greg on his third day at Hedonism II

Before going on your first trip to Hedonism II (aka Hedo), Jamaica’s naughty adult resort, you might be nervous about being naked in a pool full of naked people. “At Hedo, that thought doesn’t cross your mind,” says Chip M. from Orangevale, Calif. “Instead, you think, ‘I wonder if those pesky little toilet paper balls are stuck to my ass.’”

Hedo is a Nudist Training Ground

The first nude experience takes courage for some, who always laugh about it later. Others claim, “No way am I getting naked,” but after five minutes on the nude beach they’re flinging off clothes, leaving spouses in happy amazement. A classic nudist observation is that the guy is the first to say, “Let’s try the nude thing.” The gal is the first to say, “When can we do it again?” Though social training makes naked difficult for some, Hedo is a training ground for new awareness. 

“When we first went to Hedo, I was extremely prudish. I wouldn’t even walk over to the nude beach for two days, says Lo from New Hampshire. “By midweek I decided, what the hell, I’ll take off my top—a big step for me. By Saturday, I said to myself, I’ll never see these people again, so I went ahead and bared it all. When we arrived at Hedo for our second trip, I couldn’t get on the nude beach fast enough. I was hooked by the third trip and ready to take off my clothes on the bus.”

The nude beach concerns some husbands because men will look at their wives naked. And some wives are worried about their husbands seeing other naked women. The problem doesn’t exist, though, for people with self-confidence and healthy relationships based on trust. 

Fretting about your period? Just pop in a tampon or other barrier product. If string happens, tuck it back up. If blood happens, grab a towel. Everyone understands.

Many folks worry they are too fat or out of shape for the nude beach. But the crowd at Hedo looks like the crowd you see in the grocery store—only with no clothes and big smiles on their faces. Everyone fits in physically.

“[Going naked at Hedo] is really the most natural thing to do,” says Sue from Kentucky. “and the thing to do if you want to enjoy the Hedo experience. Besides, you have more fun because the people on the nude beach are friendly and talkative and really don’t judge. They are just out for a good time.”

Addressing Temporary Blood Displacement

Many men worry about giving the wild weenie salute (ithyphallophobia) were they to drop their drawers on the nude beach at Hedonism II. 

Nudity is sensuous, but it’s not always sexual, which surprises people who haven’t tried the public naked thing. You’ll not likely hear Teresa from Pennsylvania’s favorite compliment, “That’s one attractive scrotum.” Erections are uncommon on nude beaches because the inspiration isn’t there without contact. 

While sporting that chubby isn’t acceptable on most nude beaches, the nude beach at Hedo differs. Guests ignore or, better, cheer a well-fluffed man. 

For those who do stand up and salute but want to squelch or hide their organ, try using one or more of these techniques:

• Go into the water. All penises float so an erection just looks like a big floater.
• Lay face down on a beach chair. 
• Act embarrassed. Laughter is a natural enemy of erections. Your flute will turn into a piccolo.
• Or best: Put it to use with a willing partner, preferably not too hidden so everyone can watch. If you are really good, the crowd applauds.

Although solutions exist for the undesired erection, the reverse doesn’t have a solution. Turtleneck syndrome (shrinkage caused by cold water or fear) is only curable with the application of heat. “You cannot judge the actual size of the log until it is fully ready to be placed in the fire,” says Bob from North Carolina. And the open sexuality at Hedonism II inspires that fire.

– By Chris Santilli

This article is an edited excerpt from her travel/humor book The Naked Truth About Hedonism II.
For more information, go to https://chrissantilli.com.