BDSM 101: How BDSM Heals Trauma
When thinking BDSM, the last thing to come to mind may be healing trauma. In my line of work, I meet many people who have gone through sexual, physical, or emotional trauma. These traumas can directly affect our sexuality, our relationships, and the relationship we have with ourselves. What if I told you that participating in healthy BDSM is not only a powerful confidence builder but a healing tool for trauma?
Reclaiming Your Power
Learning to trust can be huge for many of those who have experienced sexual trauma, as BDSM can help put trust back into sexual experiences. It sounds counterintuitive because, for the uneducated person, BDSM may seem like a form of abuse, torture, or trauma.
The reality is, BDSM is giving power back to a person who may have had their power stripped from them at some point in their life. This person is learning to trust a partner when, at some point, they had learned to distrust a figure — sexually or not. This person is learning how to communicate their needs, boundaries, and consent when formerly, they may have been taken advantage of, silenced, or hurt. It can open up the door to new ways of pleasure or sensation, especially if “typical” sexual stimulation holds too much trauma or for some reason isn’t preferred or enjoyable. The possibilities are absolutely endless.
Evolution of Feelings
Sexually, you feel new sensations and newfound powers.
Physically, you test your limits and can really sink back into your body, as oftentimes, we live very much disconnected from our physical realities.
Emotionally, we can connect with ourselves and how we are feeling, or be able to release stress, tension, and trauma, for sometimes we mentally disconnect as well.
Spiritually — and some may argue this — but we can reach elevated states of being and feel closer to something bigger than us. Haven’t you thought how in most religions, there is always some history of a physical practice that is meant to sacrifice or endure pain for a higher being to reward you?
Explore at Your Own Pace
If you feel ready to explore BDSM in a healing manner, take your time. There is no rush, no goal, no pressure to do things you don’t want to do or be a person you are not. I would recommend talking this over with people like your partner, mental health professionals, or those who you feel safe with. They may better help you understand your complexities, and what is the best course of action when discovering your pleasure safely.