Do Yoga and Sex Equal Queef?
It's not strange to imagine that, when you contort your body into physically challenging poses, well, stuff happens.
Time for some lighthearted banter. I am absolutely positive that yoga and sex are closely related — very close, indeed. Yes, full transparency here — I'm talking about embarrassment. Full stop. During a beginner’s yoga class, I produced a wonderful queef. There, I said it. Was it me, or did the music stop all of a sudden? I froze in place while my eyes were frantically searching for the quickest escape route. Then I heard just a few giggles around me, and the class went on like nothing happened. Which catapults me immediately to sex because why not compare these two fantastic activities? Just my opinion, but check the overview below...
Yoga
1. Sweat. Not everyone luxuriously glistens! When you look at beautiful yoga poses online, you don't see anyone sweat. Believe me; it's really swamp-like sweaty.
2. Smells. Think about hot room crotch sweat, impossibly deep exhalations... lovely bare feet, anyone?
3. Farts. Face your stinky symphony with an absolute serene calm flowing into the next near-impossible position hold that includes the 'it wasn't me' face.
4. The anus is super important. The constant engaging, squeezing, or locking your anus makes you feel like you are close to orgasm. Anyone's wife come home from yoga super horny? I bet you it's because of the anus clenching. 100%.
5. Noisy. Your body cracks as you try to pose. You moan, you groan, you breathe audibly. And ladies, you may rip the occasional queef. Hold on, what?!
Sex
1. Sweat. Not everyone glistens! And those Kamasutra positions make you sweat swamp-like.
2. Smells. Yes.
3. Farts. It's hard to keep the 'it wasn't me' face, as sex is a close-up and personal thing altogether.
4. The anus is super important. Again, yes.
5. Noisy. Moaning and groaning, and sex can make you queef. Wait, what?!
So if you compare both, it’s pretty clear that sex and yoga are highly comparable. Focusing on point number 5, queefing is surprisingly a little on the taboo side of topics. It for sure is not covered in any sexual ed classes, and the spellcheck doesn't recognize the word queef (clicking Add to Dictionary now). Women even hardly talk about it. But most likely, more than 90% have experienced this bodily function on a regular basis.
What is a Queef?
Queefs happen when plain air enters the vagina and is subsequently pushed back out. Queefs are often referred to as vagina farts, which they're really not. It may sound just like a fart, but it’s far from it.
Other terms are vart (vagina/fart), fanny fart, daisy pump, and booty burp. All in all, queefs feel strange, sound gross, and, for most, highly likely not very pleasant. Some can queef on command, and others have no control over it whatsoever. That buildup of air inside can even be a quite uncomfortable sensation.
When Does it Happen?
Often during sex, when a penis or toy is going in and out of the vagina, and it’s possible with fingering and oral sex, too. The downward-facing dog position in yoga is a known queef-inducer.
Are Some Ladies More Prone to Queefing than Others?
Yes, some of us have a better chance to be a commander in queef. Your queef-ability enters a new level when you, for instance, had a baby, or if you lost a good chunk of weight. When you lose weight, you also lose volume in the tissues of your vagina!
Besides that, there are actually two clinical conditions that may lead to extra queefing power:
1. Recto-vaginal fistulas; a rare condition that can be caused by Crohn's disease or prolonged childbirth.
2. Pelvic Organ Prolapse; as a result of childbirth, surgery, or obesity.
Queef-Positive Sex Positions
1. Doggy-style, hands down
2. Double Penetration ups the ante for some serious air coming in
Are Queefs Preventable?
Sex:
No. When air is pumped in, it has to come back out, and usually with a soundbite.
Yoga:
Maybe. Apparently, there are a few ways to prevent queefing:
1. When raising your hips, exhale instead of inhale
2. Mula Bandha. In other words, the so-called "root lock," which engages the pelvic floor muscles
3. Kegel exercises
Are Men Put Off by Queefs?
Well, as many different men as there are, there are different takes on it. A few responses range from being totally turned off to totally being turned on by it. Some think it's a fair trade-off, and some find it absolutely super-hot. Either way, from the looks of it, no significant research supports how men exactly relate to queefing.
Honorable Mention
On Wikipedia, the following episode of South Park relates to the queefing matter:
"Eat, Pray, Queef" is the satirical reference to the book Eat, Pray, Love. fourth episode of the thirteenth season of the American animated television series South Park. The 185th overall episode of the series, it originally aired on Comedy Central in the United States on April 1, 2009. In the episode, the men and boys of South Park become infuriated when the fart-joke oriented Terrance and Phillip show is replaced with the Queef Sisters, a show devoted to queef jokes. The women and girls of South Park accuse them of holding a sexist double standard when it comes to women queefing and men farting. The show starts a queefing movement across the country, and men everywhere get upset and disgusted by the queefs, although the women do not understand what the problem is. Though the women of South Park argue that there is no difference between queefing and farting, the men are revolted by queefs, while still finding their own fart jokes amusing.
The episode uses the characters' conflicting responses to the comedic value of farts and queefs to demonstrate a double standard between rights of men and women, even in the 21st century, as both genders hold unfair opinions toward the other sex, and the episode suggests men and women are, and should be, equals.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eat,_Pray,_Queef
Hashtag You Too
Queefing is a completely normal bodily function. Air gets pumped in; air needs to get out.
So, this happens to all of us ladies, and thus it's maybe worth it to start a #youtoo on this one and get this more normalized in the sisterhood of bodily functions — just a thought.
The Travelling Goddess
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